Friday, December 2, 2011

Communication isn't the issue

I read today that communication isn't the main issue with relationships its perception.  So how am I to percieve being ignored?  The boyfriend and I can't have a conversation anymore because he either doesn't give a crap about what I'm saying because its not something he's interested in, or if I'm trying to talk about more serious matters he replies with an "I don't know." Or my personal fav. "We'll figure it out." (that one always comes with conversations about finances)  I'm already stressed and when he does this I get even more stressed out, then he yells at me to calm down and I ask him how I'm supposed to calm down and he tells me I jut need to relax......................right

For the second time I had to pay the light bill.  The first time it was my grant money for school (in other words what was supposed to be gas money to get me to and from school.)  This time it was the money I made from working at the renaissance festival aka the money that was going to pay my vet bill and some of my medical bill from when I almost broke my finger.  He thought he had till the 5th this time, I knew he didn't but he wouldn't listen to me... at 9:15am yesterday when I woke up and signed into facebook, as soon as the page loaded, our power was shut off.  He's also been continously late to work this week so he's been taking the car and he neglected to fill her up so the last $30 I had to my name from my pay check went to gas so I could drive to school this past wednesday.

Another thing that bothers me is he tells me to remind him on a daily basis things that need to get done right away... he has yet to take out the trash its only been over flowing since monday (his only house hold chore is to take out the damn trash how hard is that?)  He also discovered our left turn indicator wasn't working properly on sunday so I asked him to fix it on monday, tuesday, and then on wednesday so I didn't have to drive with a faulty tail light to school and back with little dragon in the car.  Well 30 minutes before he had to go to work on wednesday he finally takes a look at it (i had only asked him since 8am to do so, meaning he took three days and 3 hours before he finally looks at it.)  And then he come back in after all of a minute and says "I can't do it i don't have enough time to fix it before work."  and then leaves.  WHAT?!?!

So I make the hour drive to my parents' house and my dad helps me with the car, guess what??? The boyfriend said he needed tools to get into the light, he didn't, the bulb he had in the glove compartment was the wrong bulb, and it didn't need fixing at all.  He apparently bumped the light in the trunk when over stuffing it for faire and it came loose.

Its not a perception issue in this "family." Its also not a communication issue.  Its just down right arrogance.  The boyfriend feels he has to do nothing since he works...either that or he just doesn't give a shit.  I told him I'm done trying to talk to him.  And we slept in different beds again last bed I've had since I was 12 is not as comfortable as it used to be...its rock hard and guess who didn't get a fucking wink of sleep last night.....and guess which one of us slept peacefully.  Now guess which one disturbed my "rest" this morning because he couldn't find his work badge because i had to clear off my bed so I could try to sleep.  He was going to be late so he took the car, the car I'm supposed to clean out today so we can go back to faire and take down the tent and bring it and the red wagon home....i haven't been able to clean out the car yet because he keeps being late to work this week.  Today he wouldn't have been late if he woke up more than 15  minutes till the time he had to be at the office.....

I'm not the happiest person in the world right now.  Our relationship isnt' a relationship, I'm just the roommate/house keeper/nanny/occasional fuck.  These past few weeks at faire our friends have asked why I'm in love with him, and I can't give an answer.  He isn't the guy I fell in love with, they are two completely different beings and the original seems to have disappeared completely.

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