Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Band-aids and Castles

For now there's a band-aid on the "boo-boo" of my relationship.  We decided we needed to take a step back but so far we actually haven't taken a step back I don't know how to and I'm sure he doesn't know how either.  But we haven't split up we are right where we were already only we're not paying attention to the fact that this fight happened and are ignoring it.  I never really saw my parents work out their arguements I'm sure they did some how but as a kid I didn't see it and things were back to normal the next day.  Maybe issues were ignored who knows?  Maybe this way works for us, again who knows?

Apparently I am continuing my job at Penny's Magic Garden and keeping the job as Kettle Corn hawker manager... so I now hold two jobs at the renaissance faire.  Listening to a friend the other night tell us about the contracts and then the cost of purchasing a booth at the faires I'm not sure if we'll ever have the money to have our own shop.  :( not with the debt we're already in.

So what's a gal to do when we have no money but her hands want to be busy working on something? (My online classes have the quizzes blocked until tomorrow so I can't do homework, house work is so boring and my dishes are soaking currently, and my camera is missing still so I can't load pictures on to my online shop which hasn't sold anything since I re-opened...looking at moving to etsy.)  Well this gal decides to make her childhood dream come true as a test run for a toy for little dragon.  I always wanted a doll house and not a Barbie dollhouse but a real classic doll house.  I don't have any wood and can't afford a $300 kit to build my own so I'm left without an option... or so one would think.  I'm using two (maybe 3) old diaper boxes to build myself a doll house.  And if I'm any good at making minatures for my own dollhouse I'll spend around $20 to get a prebuilt castle dollhouse from Michaels.  (They don't have any regular dollhouses so no I still can't buy one for myself.) I figure in just a little while little dragon will be ready to play with slightly smaller toys (a friend of mine has a two year old that plays with a dollhouse already) so I can make him some knights, a king, and a few fantasy creatres (yes of course there will be a dragon!)  I'm supposed to spoil myself when boyfriend and I have a little extra cash because we never spoil ourselves he's going to buy skyrim and instead of spoiling myself I'm going to get that castle for the baby and spoil myself by spending time painting it and getting it ready for him.

I do however need to go and get fabrics for my hawkers, our boss accidently locked their hawker pouches up in his trailer last saturday so they had to borrow from our neighbor who makes and sells fairy wings.  I decided that this can't happen again and I hoped to have the pouches ready this weekend but I don't see that happening :(

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Future Stepmom? Maybe not

The updates so far:

I am no longer working at Penny's Magic Garden at the Renaissance Festival instead I am now a hawker/campsite manager for Champion Concessions who pops the well loved Kettle Corn.  I was asked by my boyfriend's boss to fill in for a day while the regular hawker manager was out.  I was apparently so good at the job and by offering to wash dishes that hadn't been touched all week was a plus in getting me a job.  I work about 11 hours a day keeping track of inventory, picking up the campsite, telling my hawkers when they need to take a break, and now apparently doing dishes, all while watching little dragon.

Before this happened though our roommate who we took in to keep her from having to live homless threw everything back at us...more directly at me.  She decided to curse my boyfriend out when we asked her to pick up after her dogs who used little dragon's room as the potty area.  She then continued to vent about it on facebook painting my boyfriend and I to be horrible people for waking her up when she hasn't been sleeping well and had work later that day.  I responded by letting her know that the baby was more important since he was coming home from his grandparents soon, and that she should think twice before venting like that because we have been letting her live here rent free until she was financially back on her feet.  She then apparently called me a lazy fat ass for watching tv while little dragon was eating breakfast because according to her he was on the verge of crying... (the thing she forgets to calculate in here is that little dragon has a fake cry he does when he wants attention and that was the cry he was giving at breakfast, this is the cry we are to ignore until he does finish his food or he tells us he's all done.)  She says I complain too much the only thing i complained about other than a couple of cracked ribs from my corset (which happened only once) was her dogs using the baby's room to poop in.  She said I was just like little dragon's biological mother.  Needless to say she moved out, but supposedly she got the appartment she applied for and will be moving into her new place tomorrow.  Unfortuneately all of her belongings had to stay behind here at our place so I feel i shouldn't be present tomorrow when she comes to gather her things.

Then little dragon's biological mother posted on an old status update (thank you facebook for changing my settings yet again!) Telling me how her child ought to be raised (from when i took away his toys to break him of his temper tantrums.)  She wants him cuddled instead of disciplined.  She invited me to respond via private message so I did because she knew I didn't want any contact with her (she threw two violent fits towards me when i visited 2 different times when little dragon was littler.)  I told her she had no right to tell me how to raise my son because she was the one who left him when he was 4 months old.  I'm the one who has changed his dirty diapers, taught him how to walk, talk, sing, and sign a few words.  I'm the one who cuddles him at night when he's had a nightmare and so on.  I also tagged onto my message that if she contacted me again I would file harassment charges with the police.  She knew if she had any concerns she was supposed to speak to little dragon's father not me.

I'm in the process of dropping a college course due to all the stress of the last week making me sick again.
My business hasn't produced any sales so that kinda has me down too.

Now on top of everything else me and my boyfriend are having issues I don't know if he ever truly intended for us to end up together of if he was ever really considering marriage, if he was we just killed it.  Yay trust issues and lying!  I was packing my things to leave this morning but he wants us to take a step or many steps back and go from there.  When he left  for work this morning he asked how far back did I want to go and I told him it was up to him, he seems to know what he wants to do right now.  He then asked if I still wanted to be kissed (everymorning except yesterday due to the fight he kisses me goodbye.)  I quietly said I would like that, so he kissed me, I don't know if he noticed, but I cried when he did.  Can we get over this? maybe.